Racing Mugs

"What an amazing view!"

"I don't get it. If he's no faster than me, how come he always beats me?"

'Psst, I know a shortcut.'

'Hey, that's not fair.'

"Is this a bad time to talk about global warming?"

'It happens to a lot of runners at this stage of the marathon, George. It;s called 'hitting the wall'...'

'He was sprinting down the track, way ahead of everyone, and suddenly ... Whoa! There's the problem!'

"Hey, this is a marathon, not a sprint."

'Are you sure we're on the right track?'

"Perfect."

Finish line.

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

On your mark, get set, go!

Shortly after his first victory, the tortoise gets cocky.

The polar olympics

Jesus Feeds the 5K

Formula 1.

'I don't want to imply that your boat is slow, but that tortoise just passed us.'

Tortoise & Hare.

"You should see the size of the shark the Chinese are using."

'He started it!'

Eddy Merckx

"By the time I got my race number it was over."

"Don't forget bib number!"

'I beat the snail. I blew out the sloth. But all anyone remembers is that damn tortoise.'

Speed Bumps.

'No matter how many times I beat these guys they still don't take me serious.'

Computer Controlled Car

Formula One snail

'Hey! Andy actually caught it! Hang on, Andy!'

Loser's Podium.

'Well, men, we lost another one, bu are we discouraged? Heck, no!'

Piggy bank at starting blocks.

"Change down you fool! You can't hit a hairpin at that speed!"

'It's not fair...Schumacher gets to practice a lap of honour before the race has even begun.'