Racecourses Pillows

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

'My feet are killing me.'

Steep Hill, Slippery When Wet, Watch for Cars Going Faster Than You.

Ancient Racing

"I need to tinkle."

Go! Means NOW!

A day at the races

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

Bringing Your Child To The Bicycle Race

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

Runner collapsing over the finishing line.

A tortoise running along the side of the road, panting.

A day at the transgenic races

Bob's Driving School.

Knight in shining Lycra!

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"Oh, oh, it seems they've had a little trouble with the hand-off in lane number three."

Snail Racing

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

"If you think I ride too fast, Susan...just say so!"

Annual Swim Hundreds of Miles, Spawn and Die Marathon.

The polar olympics

'Good luck, everyone! Maybe this will be the year somebody finishes the race!'

Bessy had won the 100m sprint... but many suspected Steeroid abuse!

The Epsom Derby - Bookies

'Geoffrey's kit car can go from nought to upside down in under nine seconds.'

Birthday Racing Car

'It's supposed to look and smell greasy.'

Prehistoric Peeps: Even the 'Derby' had its primeval counterpart.