Race Track Funster Pillows

Runners have a pay toll.

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

Cheeze Wiz.

"I told you. . . use your inside miming."

"Forget the allowance - I need a benefactor!"

'Not that slowly back...'

"These few weeks off school have convinced me that I'm definitely a stay-at-home kid."

With Grandpa it was often a game of hide and sleep.

'The puppy just downloaded on your computer keyboard.'

"You think you hate me now, but just wait until I'm old and a burden to you."

'Before we begin, he's the one that's been helping me with my homework.'

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

The Horse Jump - One girl makes it over, the other is cover in leaves.

'Look. A mom with a handy carrying case.'

"How do you like my 'Pop art'?"

'Young Master and I are both turning two: How come I'm so much more mature than he is?'

'He takes after your mother' (colour)

"Please let go of Daddy's chest hair."

In prehistoric times, there were hunters, gatherers and guys who never had change.

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

'Look, honey, the baby's got your mouth.'

'No honey, you can't sell him on ebay.'

'Did you know that turkeys and dinosaurs are closely related? Meet my cousin, Lenny!'

'Congratulations Mrs Marrow, it's a courgette.'

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

Football

"You spoil that boy."

"One day you'll thank me for embarrassing you in front of the entire Internet."

'Mom never said she was a clown!'

'Okay Dad, time to unwind.'

Actualities - Artists abusing permission to exhibit more than three pictures this year

Naughty kids watching TV and telling their slack dad to go back to his kennel.

'If there are any current employees traveling with children or siblings or cousins or nephews or...'

'Hey, dad! Look what I got in trade for your golf clubs!'

"He took up birdwatching during lockdown."