Race Track Funster Pillows

Runners have a pay toll.

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

"Forget the allowance - I need a benefactor!"

'Not that slowly back...'

"These few weeks off school have convinced me that I'm definitely a stay-at-home kid."

'The puppy just downloaded on your computer keyboard.'

With Grandpa it was often a game of hide and sleep.

"You think you hate me now, but just wait until I'm old and a burden to you."

'Before we begin, he's the one that's been helping me with my homework.'

The Horse Jump - One girl makes it over, the other is cover in leaves.

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

'Look. A mom with a handy carrying case.'

In prehistoric times, there were hunters, gatherers and guys who never had change.

"How do you like my 'Pop art'?"

'He takes after your mother' (colour)

"Please let go of Daddy's chest hair."

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

'Young Master and I are both turning two: How come I'm so much more mature than he is?'

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

'Congratulations Mrs Marrow, it's a courgette.'

'Did you know that turkeys and dinosaurs are closely related? Meet my cousin, Lenny!'

"You spoil that boy."

Football

"One day you'll thank me for embarrassing you in front of the entire Internet."

'Mom never said she was a clown!'

Actualities - Artists abusing permission to exhibit more than three pictures this year

'Okay Dad, time to unwind.'

Naughty kids watching TV and telling their slack dad to go back to his kennel.

'Hey, dad! Look what I got in trade for your golf clubs!'

'If there are any current employees traveling with children or siblings or cousins or nephews or...'

"He took up birdwatching during lockdown."