Race Participation T-Shirts

'GET READY! SET!...'TIME!'

A day at the races

10 K Tail-Chase

Danger Slow Sand.

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

'Good luck, everyone! Maybe this will be the year somebody finishes the race!'

'His 5 hour energy drink timed out. If only he had taken it 3 seconds later.'

It was a good chance to get together and talk shop.

'We're almost 1/8th of the way there.'

Bradley Wiggins

"To help you keep a healthy pace, I'm going to release Bruno here one minuit after you start."

Get a life

The Light at the End of the Tunnel

Marathon costume

"Vote the Raven: 'Never Trump!'"

'Well, did you win or what?'

"Last one to the top's a geriatric."

'I know you're tired of hearing the same old political cliches, but I believe in recycling.'

Here come that nutcase Chicken Little again.

"We ran into a marathon."

5-6 PM: 'Grin and Bear It Hour"

Sports Agency. In my work as a sports agent, I told this athlete she needs to improve if she wants to be well-known. Ironically, in diving you become famous by not making a splash! I got this marathon competitor a sponsorship so he can focus on training. He's going to take the money and run! This sprinter will earn a bonus if he sets a record. Oh, going after some fast money! And I made this guy agree to give me an extra slice of his pay if I negotiated a great contract for him which I di

Kamala Devi Harris caricature

The pole bolt

Annual pursuit of free agents in the off-season.

'It happens to a lot of runners at this stage of the marathon, George. It;s called 'hitting the wall'...'

'No, thanks. I'm fine.'

Tortoise & Hare.

'I always vote for the candidate I think will do the least damage.'

Marathon runners in silly costumes.

'Ah, a stepping stone to success.'

'There wasn't anything you could do -- somebody had to win the election.'

Fall Classic. You're way too literal, Ernie.

How to Tell when You're Asking for Directions from a NASCAR Fan: 'Make a left, then hang a left, take another left followed by a left...'

'So each year The Boat Race is between Oxford and Cambridge. Wow, that's a long way to row in just twenty minutes!'