Race Day Hustler Gifts

'It's no use ... I'll never catch anyone. I can't even catch my breath.'

'Your shoe's untied.'

A day at the races

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

'Now will you pull over and ask for directions?'

Smile

First past the post.

'Why do you always win at cards but not horses? I can't shuffle the horses.'

'He's known as the hardest-driving track coach in the country.'

Bradley Wiggins

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

Loser's Podium.

'Ptuwah! This is tap water!'

"Howard's gone on the Tour de France without his bicycle again."

'Ere Bert, what do I do with a lady who wants an each way bet on the boat race?'

"It's only a 2-k race, but in the 10 years we've sponsored it, nobody's ever finished."

Race Horses See Big People.

'The good news is tomorrow is a brand new day. The bad news is I'll be spending it at work.'

'I hear the meeting was cancelled last Saturday.' - 'Yeah. Someone drugged the hare.'

'I plucked myself. It reduces drag in the water.'

'It happens to a lot of runners at this stage of the marathon, George. It;s called 'hitting the wall'...'

Hurdles with Steps

"I can't believe we forgot to pack the car."

'Runners to your mark. Get set... wait! Lane three! Turn sideways!'

'Ha! Fake out!'

The Epsom Derby - Beer Stall

'When I'm in the saddle I'm part of the horse.' - 'Yes, but which part?'

Just for laughs, let's throw a few folks off course.

-Yipee! He's well out in front! -You do realize they're only going down to the start!

"Hi, Mum, I'm last in the race, but I do have the best mobile."

Oxford-Cambridge Boat Race,1870-The Crews Approach Putney Bridge

Jed was a serious gamer...so on race days, he would always dress for speed!!

Formula One eco helmet

"I'm psyched!"