Rabelais Fan Pillows

The son of Gargantua, Pantagruel, has been fed by the milk of 4,000 cows (Rabelais).

The Order for War is Given by Picrochole. (Rabelais).

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

Golfer Shouts at Ball to Go Into Hole.

Go team!

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

'Yeah, I'm sorry to break it to you bud, that eating grass thing is a myth!'

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

Ball as water-melon.

Cricket Accidents.

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

Hockey Season.

'We're looking for athletic people.'

'What are we, wimps? Are we gonna let a bunch of rabbits push us all over the field? Come on, big guys.'

"This ump is so good he doesn't even blink."

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

'Let's give it five more minutes. If they haven't eased up on the lasers by then, we'll have to postpone the game.'

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

'...I don't like your chances!'

Ascent of man from ape to beer swilling football lout.

The bovine who jumped over the news went on to a great career w/ the Bulls!

"Now that you've won the Super Bowl what will you do next?"

'You do realize you're no longer a pro athlete and there is no preseason to work out the kinks, don't you?'