Rabbit Whisperer Gifts

'The nice thing is we can use real carrots as incentives with them.'

Lost and found at a magician's convention

'Hey carrot-breath! You still mad cause we ran you a little today? Hounds gotta make a living too, ya know.'

Midnight in the Vegetable Garden of Good and Evil.

"Peter, did you know Mister Eggelston dyed?" "Yup."

"I Hate Carrots."

'It's the Year of the Rabbit...are you going to let your ears grow?'

'I am fed up all I get is rabbit, rabbit, rabbit!'

'Yes, I did survive the Myxomatosis outbreak of the 1950s...'

'He's not my Daddy: He's my great great grandfather...'

A snowman has a protective cage around the carrot on its nose.

Bitchbark Canoe

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

Children's Parties

'So far, I've taught him to fetch.'

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'So what's it like riding in first class?'

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"Foster failure"

Licensed Therapist

"No no, I said sit!!"

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."