Quiz Aficionado Pillows

'Your specialist subject...things that have happened in the last three seconds.'

"Perhaps we'd be more likely to reach an agreement if the British delegate would stop shouting 'Deal or no deal' all the time."

Noel Edmonds.

"I'm afraid 'b*****d if I know' just won't do..."

A planet like ours - pub quiz dolphin

Mastermind - "You've chosen rail ticket conditions 1998-99."

"What's the least spoken language in the world?"

Mind versus matter.

"Stop complaining! If you want to date my son, you have to go through my screening process! Now, concentrate! Question 957:..."

"Dang, I really thought I knew that one. Man, these questions are hard."

Quiz Night: Questions on all subjects....

'Can we have a starter for ten, please?'

"What's Your Problem, Man?"

'What is the color of a red robin?' (tv quiz).

So, have you had the elephant dung all the time? Or is it box 13? Are you going to swap?

"And now your General Knowledge Round...Where does clean laundry come from?"

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

"Allow me to respond to your question with a question of my own that I can answer."

'Nice, but it needs more angst.'

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

'It's a difficult position to fill. Someone who's smarter than me - and smart enough to pretend not to know it.'

"If I wanted your opinion I would have hauled you in for questioning."

'Time and tide wait for no woman..'

"Your sense of humor has gone from dry to arid. . ."

"Knowing all the weather rock lore doesn't really count toward the weather badge."

You Don't Have To Be Crazy To Work Here But You Will Be After The Training.

Counsel's Opinion.

'Sorry...you're not quite right for the position.'

'I understand night and day, but which came first?'

'Tell me truthfully,these glowing references from the Dukes of York and Kent are public houses aren't they?'

'All of your previous employers said you are very loyal.'

Carpe diem

"...and how do you feel about being labelled the new Great British hope?"