Quitting Pillows

"I want out!"

'I need a cigarette! I'm having a nicotine fit!'

Trapeze artist leaves sign saying 'I quit'!

'He started smoking again because he misplaced the remote control!'

The trouble with trying to quit smoking.

'This should be good. He just won the lottery!'

"Going out for a smoke... you?"

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

"Its my letter of resignation. I also turned it into a memoir."

'It's a nicotine patch...I've been smoking too much.'

"If I've got to work for a tyrant . . . I may as well work for myself."

'Does this mean you won't be coming back on Monday?'

"I want to quit, spend more time with my family, finish grade 3....."

Gentlemen, I'm off to join the circus

"I just hit the lottery for a million bucks, so today I'm going to punch that timeclock for the last time."

"I told him that I was leaving, that I couldn't put up with the endless stream of meaningless paperwork...he asked me to fill out an exit report!"

'I'm leaving this damn job at the end of the month.' - 'How did you find out?'

'After all these years of purposely losing to the boss, I beat the pulp out of him and turned in my resignation.'

When Dick quit, he walked off with the company Slushy fund!'

"In lieu of an exit interview, he just emailed a string of emojis about how he felt about the company and his boss."

Letter of Resignation

"My chronic condition has been pestering me every single day for the past six months. I'm a lifelong quitter so its persistence is troubling me."

'Does this mean you won't be back on Monday?'

'I love being my own boss!'

"Does it come in menthol?"

'Its going to be difficult to replace you. Especially on the salary we were paying.'

'I hear you're leaving us, Wilkins!'

"That's the part of the exit interview the boss really enjoys!"

"He quit online counseling. This gives him the same sympathy, but cheaper."

"I've decided to leave the company. Could I have my soul back?"

The Patch.

"I know, you've a fly in your soup. Everyone has. Today is my last day."

'My wife was anxious because I had some drinks before, during and after work. That's why I did what must have been done - I quit the damn job.'

'This must be the day you're quiting. I saw your car parked in the boss's space.'

'After you stop smoking you're supposed to eat more, not drink more.'