Quitting Drinking Pillows

'I was once teetotal, it was the worst two hours of my life!'

'...my dad recently gave up drinking and smoking and being able to tolerate sentient life forms.'

'He's finally done it - kicked breakfast TV!'

'Swimming is the healthiest sport. . . Because it's the only one where you can't smoke while you're doing it.'

'It's a nicotine patch...I've been smoking too much.'

Stopping smoking at work had given Tim the energy to explore his creativity ... 'And I like to call this my dance of the fourth quarters 'profit and loss' account.'

Uncle Sam: I want you..to live and pay taxes...stop smoking!

Professional woman in pub

'You see, you don't really need a cigarette to wake up in the morning.'

F1 - Quit Smoking.

'I drank 10 pints of rum.'

'I haven't had the urge for a cigarette for two days. How's the patch working for you?'

'Nevermore.'

'This should be good. He just won the lottery!'

He was out in no time, with a new outlook and a clean slate.

'I see you've managed to cut your coffee consumption in half.'

Stop smoking,instantly.

'I'm so proud of you sweetie, you haven't smoked for a week!'

"Apparently, he had occasional sober periods."

Trapeze artist leaves sign saying 'I quit'!

'It's my own fault, I encouraged him to give up cigarettes in favour of a pipe. It was while we were on holiday in the Swiss Alps!'

Acupuncture - "So two hundred needles stuck into my fags will help me quit smoking, will it?"

Thanks to hypnosis, he quit smoking cold-turkey. Everyone seemed real supportive until he came strutting into work, half-naked, gobbling incoherently.

'Now I understand why people want to give them up.'

'The nicotine patch should get you off the nicotine gum.'

'The best thing for you, is to give up booze and smoking.'

'I can see you're going to be a bit of a challenge.'

'I finally kicked the fire breathing habit, now I'm stuck on mints and I'm gaining weight.'

"I only allow myself one after a meal - I'm now down to 43 meals a day!"

'I'm worried. I gave up smoking without any trouble.'

Vaping cigarette

"Bye! good luck with the 'stop smoking 'campaign!"

"Can we get some more nicotine patches, pal?"

Introducing: Eye-Quit. The Nicotine Patch for Pirates...

Talking about smoking to a therapist who is a smoker.