Quitter Humor Pillows

'Hi John, it's your partner, Peter. I've decided to have a non-smokers day off - it should just make up for all the cigarette breaks you've taken in the last month!'

'It's a nicotine patch...I've been smoking too much.'

"Its my letter of resignation. I also turned it into a memoir."

"I want to quit, spend more time with my family, finish grade 3....."

'This should be good. He just won the lottery!'

Trapeze artist leaves sign saying 'I quit'!

Acupuncture - "So two hundred needles stuck into my fags will help me quit smoking, will it?"

"Right Smithers... Heads - I sack you; tails - you resign."

'There's something about being locked up with a 500lb gorilla, highly allergic to cigarette smoke, that works every time.'

"Can we get some more nicotine patches, pal?"

"No plans set in stone yet, but I'll probably spend some time getting on my wife's last nerve, maybe hyperfocus on the lawn."

The trouble with trying to quit smoking.

'It's a nicotine patch: I'm trying to quit smoking...'

"I want out!"

Brother Kevin is wrecking the dorm!

'Let's talk about the best way to use nicotine patches.'

'I'll only have one pack of nicotene patches this week. My mate's supposed to be getting me some cheaper ones from abroad.'

'After you stop smoking you're supposed to eat more, not drink more.'

'To show I'm serious about giving up smoking for new year, I'm going to sign this pledge.'

'Sorry, you can't smoke in the control group.'

'Do the patches help?'

Smoker's Lungs.

"Who gets Meals on Wheels?"

Captain Hook tries the cigarette patch.

You've been so grouchy since you quit smoking.

'I'm down to five a day with this new brand!'

Man emphasizing that he has quit (colour)

Dave talks about the life as a Paramedic...

Smoking Area

'Who won?'

'He started smoking again because he misplaced the remote control!'

'I need a cigarette! I'm having a nicotine fit!'

I'm very serious about quitting smoking, no ifs, ands or butts.

"Last cigarette? Sorry we don't encourage smoking."