Quirky Writing Tool Collector Gifts

"I gotta get smaller peacocks."

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

"Oh, come on! Nobody brought a pen?"

Stationers' sign leaking ink onto a passer-by.

"Oooooh....a western wear dog cone. Sexy!"

The Hammer

'Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know the drill.'

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'You know, there's no need to reinvent the rock.'

"If I can't use a calculator, may I use my Dad's old slide-rule?"

Office: Empowerment Drawer.

Tree's Tree Nursery. Get this. Dad is selling those goofy upside-down tomato planters. What idiot would buy them? Thanks! I'll let you know how it works! My idiotic bio teacher.

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

USING QUILLS

Biro Security

The Uses of a Stethoscope

"But seriously do you think my eclectic knowledge of the history of the development of the claw hammer makes me more of a sex magnet?"

"It has come to my attention that yous needs some protection."

'Would it have killed you to go with a store-bought model?'

Not all service desk staff were pleased about the new bring your own device policy

"'Can correctly complete a CAPTCHA image 8 our of 10 times.' Any other skills?"

'It's my latest invention -- I cal lit 'a rock tied to a stick.''

Empty landscape containing food and stationery.

Bureau of alcohol, tobacco, firearms and other neat stuff.

'Another invention? -- You are SUCH a geek!'

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

'We thought you'd like music during your building inspection.'

The Black Hole the National Observatory just discovered, where temporarily misplaced tools and parts go.

Signed Baseball - Scientists,

"I guess I always wanted to be an electrician. As a little boy, I ran away to join the circuits."

They've come a long way since they started in his parents' garage.

The Secret Life of Pens

DIY Store "I don't know why we come here..."

"It was a mistake to let the children chose their own instruments for the new music class...I have eleven cymbals, and Billy Fitzgerald chose the bagpipes!"