Quirky Weather Humorist Pillows

Captain steering house through flood.

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

'Okay, is there anybody else whose homework ate their dog?'

A tortoise toboggans down a hill in its shell

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

"Walk, hell- I gotta dance."

'But you know I don't have brand loyalty for anyone but you!'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

"I don't know what else we can do. He won't look up from the screen!"

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

"Chomp... Chomp... Curry Tree..."

"Do you see that inexplicably beautiful hydrangea over there?… Nature calls."

Glance Exchange

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth

"As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from restless dreams, transformed into a monstrous vermin, he thought to himself: never again bourbon and tequila in the same night, and this time, I mean it."

"How about a hand."

Competitive Eating Competition Competitive Vomiting Competition,

"It's just a tree."

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

"I cross the road to forget."

'The Lemming Book Store'

Spiro & Pusho illusionists

'You can't come in here with that.'

Self Help / Elf Help.

'We have a P-O-P display for our new perfume. Can we move the beef jerky down a smidge?'

'Still have gas problems, Mr. Quigley?'

One Painting Says To the Other... 'Do you ever get that creepy feeling like they are watching you.'

Flan-eating bacteria