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Multitasking: Psychiatry and Podiatry.

Licensed Therapist

"He was a sea rescue."

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'

"If find people express themslves more freely in traffic jams."

A hard green shell on the outside doesn't always mean it's chocolaty on the inside.

'I have to admit I was skeptical at first, but their hooves are magical, Magical, I say!'

"The fact that I have multiple personalities and none of them are computer literate is depressing."

'Just because they're afraid of you, it doesn't mean they don't like you.'

"I'm gona level with you, Judith, I've spent some time in the pen."

'If it wasn't for you darling - I think I would go crazy!'

"About that insomnia...have you tried counting billable hours?"

'I had a very unhappy egghood....'

Let's try something new, Al. I'll say a word, then you remain mercifully silent for the rest of the hour.

Psychoanalyst turtle trying to help turtle patient come out of shell

"Would it be possible to speak with the personality that pays the bills."

'Does it bother you that I use wadded tissues as pillows?'

'Here, you're allowed to sharpen your claws to your heart's content!'

I always felt I should have been born into royalty, Doctor Kapuchnik. If it's any consolation, Al, you're a royal pain.

"....At least we don't have to put quarters in this hot tub."

"We're not a couple. He's just my ride."

'And now Patrick will tell us how music has helped him with his problems.'

Fakir Shrink.

I was toilet trained a month early, and it's been downhill ever since

'I think Mr. Teddy's getting too dependent on me.'

A Wally Yomp Psychologist...Practice limited to people who are really miffed!

Cracker nice, but Polly want more.

Psychiatry. I'm not fooling anybody but myself? Well, that's a start!

An unlicensed acupuncturist

"Good news, you don't have imposter syndrome - you really are a good boy."

'What do you mean, I'm immature.'

"Because you always do that with your fingers."

Studying Fire Behavior

Miss Lonelyhearts Advice to the Lovelorn

"You're right, Carl. Everything does suck."