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Fishing Terms: Hairy Mary

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"I'm keeping 'up' distance... there's a reason they are called DROPlets."

"If all you have is a whatchamacallit then every problem looks like a thingamajig."

'Did you get through to the speaking clock, Dear?' 'Tick and tock and tick and tock and tick...'

This is a voice recognition service...we reserve the right to cut you off if you have an irritating nasal sort of voice.

Yep, that's me in a pea pod! In a pea pod�?? I think "nutshell" has been vastly overused.

'Don't be silly - I love you for your body AND your tiny little brain!'

"Standard equipment includes the Manual Anti-Collision Sonic Warning System...otherwise known as the horn."

"It's a new rent concept - fifteen minutes for a quarter."

'I'm actually Farnsworth Huddleson the fifth. The first was an obscure character in a Dickens novel.'

'Today I learned a little grammar in the classroom and LOTS of vocabulary on the playground!'

Things You Say Wher You Are Officially Old - Volume # 1

It's not like you to be late... Forgot to set my alarm cock. (Alarm cock? What did you say that for?!)

Wow, that's really a thing of beauty! Have you ever thought about being a uvula model?

"Travis didn't believe in nouns."

Daddy's little girl....Or not...

Blues musicians who never found their audience

'Since I also believe you are a rabbit, Mr Curtlow, I am uncertain as to how to proceed.'

'PARTNER' Do you say PARTNER or BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND?

'The prinker liked to japan his krimmer.'

'Son, it's time you learned about the pterodactyls and the trilobites....'

Funky Facts: A slug has no teeth, 2 teeth or over 25,000 teeth?

Quasimodo visits his doctor - "I'm afraid you have Tinnitus!"

'Pedantic? He's the only person I know who insists on calling it a hippoPOTAMUS!'

You look tired, Randy. Hot date last night? I had a date. That is correct. But was it hot? A gentleman doesn't tell whether a date was "hot" or not. No … but you usually do. Didn't you just patent "Randy's Hot-o-Meter," the hat that turns from white to pink to red, depending on the hotness of last night's date? Did you know the inventor of bacon was vegetarian? He was? Who knows? Point is, inventions are not a statement of principles.

Meeting Tonight. Palindrome Society. Where is your palindrome group going on their trip? A Danish amusement park: Tivoli. I lov' it!

'He told me he was at the cutting edge of law and order.'

'Never engage a mingy stentor in a brulzie.'

"Everyone will be squamous for 15 minutes"

'Any chance of a drink while she's sorting out the taxi fare?'

Things you say when you are officially old...

Brainstorming names for the new colour paint range

Football players huddle and one has a really long name.

"He's probably okay, but let's check his credit references anyway. You call the bookie, I'll call the exotic dancer."