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Scary surgery

"Satisfaction, stat!"

'Did you remove my appendix? Yes, both of them.'

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

Don't tell my wife. Dragon head.

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

'We've GOT to get the bullet out,,,'

"If this isn't successful, the next one is on us."

'The donor for your face transplant was a Mr. Bonzo.'

Surgeons prepare for the world's first loopendectomy. Objective: Remove that part of the brain that plays the same snippet of music over the over and over.

"And there we have it, gentlemen! The first full face transplant swap of twins."

"Do you have a family history of this condition?"

"Mr. Wilson? I'm Dr. Bradshaw. Please come in."

"Good?"

'And that's the simplest way to surgically remove a 'mole' from the patient!'

2050 A. D: Cloning is quite common place.

"The I.R.S. can't hurt him anymore."

Patients with HMO dread anesthesia.

"Don't worry, I've performed this procedure hundreds of times."

Swami Trevor's Brotherhood of Celestial Enlightenment

'I can't turn it off.'

'Another botched Snotox injection...'

'I need to reset his internal clock...does anyone have the correct time?'

Sewing Machines in Surgery

'Dr. Frisinger thinks he may have left a clamp in you.'

"The operation was a huge success, Mr. Smith, but we're going to have to open you up again - we appear to have lost a nurse."

Your body initially rejected the new kidney, but after we pumped you full of liquor, your body found the new kidney kind of attractive. We'll see what happens in the morning, though.

'Gesundheit! You must have an uncommon cold.'

"Hold it. I'd like a second opinion!"

'I think you've reached the mandatory retirement number of oopses.'

"I warned you that collagen lip injections were not without risk, Mrs. Rawlinson."

Snowman shoots another with a hairdryer.

"I'm not sure what kind of luck this is."

'No! No! - it's an ELASTIC band I want!'