Quirky Sports Strategist Pillows

"Most unusual stance: lefty batting backwards."

The MBA Draft

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

Perils of the double play.

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

'You should have taken up the game earlier.'

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

The Other Cooperstown

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

Boomerang cow.

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

"I love fast break business success."

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

"When you put on the uniform, you surrender a part of yourself."

"If you think it's tough at this level, kid, wait until you get into calculus."

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

'You are dreaming the impossible team.'

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

"The good news is I used AI to fill in my March tournament bracket and I won the whole thing. The bad news is AI has become self aware and wants the prize money."

'Every team needs a role player. And your role on this team, Bill, is to sit at that desk and crunch numbers.'

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

Baseball Clubhouse Pranks

'Are you blind ref?'

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'

"Saturn. No contest. A deadly, treacherous gas giant ringed by a gossamer halo of ice. It symbolizes both death and life. Both evil and good. It symbolizes existence itself."

'Here's a play my backup QB designed. Everyone goes long and I throw to our opponent.'

"Marketing hired a golf pro as our spokesperson. Finally, we've got someone on the ball around here."