Quirky Sorter Pillows

A middle-manager relaxing on his day off...

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Larry's used art

Seagiraffes

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

"Anna - there's someone I'd like to meet."

Raincloud Umbrella

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

"Honey! Where are my lucky Incredible Hulk board meeting socks?!?"

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

Duck Hunt

Thinks he's too cool for school.

Advocado

Early cyborg.

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

Best before 65 million BC.

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

'Half-baked beans, low fat variety' "Who says we have no taste?"

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

Look At Me I'm Still Wearing Shorts.

God taking iceburgs with ice tongs for his whisky.

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

A man walks his dog wearing a cone.

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

"Oh, I'm thrilled with my new dog! He's sort of a hunter/retriever/plumber/electrician."

Ice shelfie.

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

'What are the other nonconformists wearing this year?'

'Anorak anoraks'.

"Honey, have you seen my onions?"