Quirky Restaurant Reviewer Pillows

True Lunch

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"Everything tastes better when it's cooked on the grill."

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

Bangers and Mash

'I know! It's what I had last night for dinner.'

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

GMOs: The Next Generation

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

"What do you suggest...the tuna fish or the peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich?"

"Darling, you never let me see the side of you that pays."

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

"The food was o.k., but the atmosphere was terrible."

Stupid Microwave

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

"Hey, waiter! This homework is burnt to a crisp!"

Amy Sedaris

'...and one 'death by chocolate', Sir.'

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

'Can I have a Banana-Split' without the ice-cream?'

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

Kentucky Fried Horse

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

"One spaghetti, and two straws please."

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

'The customer is always right...'