Quirky Recipe Seeker T-Shirts

Those who bought my cookbook with the transposed pages will get a refund. Those who actually enjoy Lobster Alfredo a la mode - bon app

'I think I'll go home and eat'

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

I don't know what happened to the poor guy, but he's visibly shaken.

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

'Believe me, you don't want to know what's in it.'

"All our vegetables are organic, ethically sourced and stunned before being boiled."

"Who ordered the moose en croute?"

Tzatzikicicle

Kentucky Fried Horse

'Can I have a Banana-Split' without the ice-cream?'

"Was there a photo in the recipe book? I'd love to see what it's meant to look like."

"So, I went into this fancy new butcher shop and they were selling ostrich of all things!"

Cheese Secret

'I'll have one regular cheese-burger from column 'A', and one negative-calories cheese-burger from column 'B'.'

"Hi, Honey. For dinner we're having Shis Kabob."

"Is it me, or would a dung beetle taste really good right now?"

"It's a combination of pizza and sushi and taco and egg roll and...it's just something everyone loves."

'I don't eat red meat. That's ok, this is gone green.'

'Today's special is yesterday's left-overs.'

Octopi a la mode.

"That's a toaster. It's a tanning bed for bread."

How is your soup, sir? Speaking for myself, it looks pretty good. I can't speak for the fly, of course.

"The insect menu is very popular nowadays."

Okay... which one of you ordered the holy mackerel?

De ja vu soup - 'It was yesterday's 'soup of the day'.'

"Be right with you - just need to call for a tow truck and change today's 'Catch of the Day' to venison."

"Is everything all right? Any reactions to the irradiated carrots, the transgenic tomatoes, or the antibiotics in the chicken?"

'It's a spork!'

Redneck Relative Thanksgiving

Early bird special - Grilled Pterodactyl.

Roadkill Restaurant

The Criminally Insane Gourmet.

'What on earth is this? Hedgehog soup.'

'Ralph, I'm gonna' need wings on the fly!'