Quirky Race Champion Gifts

"Is the German-potato-salad marathon normally this messy?"

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

We're making progress building a staff for the palace. The king's lawyer and accountant has sealed lips, of course. Putting a big heart in the charity foundation chief, and building the gardener with a green thumb were excellent choices, Ernie. But the entertainers sill need some fixes. The jester doesn't have a funny bone. I'm nobody's fool. And you have the minstrel a tin ear! Oops.

Canine conundrum.

Golf Hole at bottom of lake.

"Must you use the cat's litter box to practice your sand trap swing?"

Robber on treadmill

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

"What do you mean, it's not an educational toy? I'd have to learn to ride it!"

Snail Coach

Children's Book Publisher. It should be good for lots or repeat sales

'Costume - What costume?'

'It's just possible that the best candidate is the one who wins the Spoon Race.'

'By the way, no one has ever beaten me and lived to tell about it.'

Curling Rocks!

"Hmm, offhand, I'd say you have a nasty case of tennis elbow!"

'What the . . . no wonder we can't gain any yards. We've been fitted with radio collars...'

Only horse I know that likes to start out of the crouch. 6 3.

"My ship didn't sink. I swam here from New Jersey to get into The Guinness Book of World Records."

'We need someone to walk the plants.'

"Your serve is basically good, it's just you're doing something funny right at the very end."

100m Flies Race: Entomological Olympiad.

"I signed up for 'Dressage Without the Horse.'"

Tug the Toggle

Annual Lump Festival Competition:'I don't know if I can give an award, they're all so fantastic..'

'Sometimes if things blow onto the canvas I just leave em there.'

Van Gogh's glasses fall off again.

'Something comfortable and yet… unexpected. I like to run amok.'

Lariant Art.

"It doesn't matter what the score is. When kids play, they play to learn sportsmanship, teamwork and the benefits of physical activity."

Strange Wrestling

Downhill taxidermy never made it past the trial stages of the Olympics.

Umbrella fight.