Quirky Questions T-Shirts

'Is it all right for a vegetarian to wear a poodle skirt?'

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

Great British Eccentrics.

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

Best before 65 million BC.

Funky Facts: Football.

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

"Daddy, why do people pull round pizza from square boxes and cut them into triangles before they eat them?"

'If it 'tells' the time, why do I have to look at it?'

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

A Specialty Bookstore Chain that Failed, 'Untitled Books.'

"What would you like me to play next?"

Ostrich Curoisities

Celebrity Phrenologist.

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

Real Estate Personals

"The board is going to have to talk to 5-G again."

"Sometimes I'm sorry I ever ran away with you."

"If you could have a dinner conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?"

"I can never go metric. 'Al's 30.48 Centimeter Hot Dogs' just doesn't sound right."

Why can't you use the brains God gave you? Oh, shoot, I think this is Bob's.

What's the antidote for wheat germ?

Bald man with a brush on his head

Pam collected ceramic pigs. Just one so far, but even that seemed like too many.

Microbiology Lab. It's worse than we thought. That antibiotic resistant bacteria is reading Nietzsche!

Sinlge-white-male seeking single-female who enjoys, silence, long long walks, and scorpions.

Upside down question mark hanging from fishing line.

"Nah. I'm a crow. Some jerk put bleach in the birdbath."

I always feel so short when you wear heels.

'You may choose either everlasting life or whatever is behind the curtain.'

'It's yet another customer survey asking about our last oil change. Was it poor, fair, very good, blissful or orgasmic?'

"Do you think it's an accident of history that Freemasons live in houses and we live in trees?"

'Am I covered if a car falls on my tree?'

"We're not all grim you know - I'm a happy reaper."