Quirky Quaffer Prints

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

Best before 65 million BC.

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

Funky Facts: Football.

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

A Knight Arrives at a Boiling Lake Filled with Monsters (Don Quixote).

'Must really be a terrible headache you've got there, Doctor.'

"All dishes marked with an asterisk are served with sarcasm. . ."

"Okay...tell me again what training seminar we sent Bill to?"

'If it 'tells' the time, why do I have to look at it?'

Ostrich Curoisities

"Its my letter of resignation. I also turned it into a memoir."

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

"Albert is the first whistler to use hearing aid feedback as an intro to one of his tunes."

"What would you like me to play next?"

'Is the water cold?'

Joint Ventures!

Celebrity Phrenologist.

Real Estate Personals

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

"The board is going to have to talk to 5-G again."

'If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, looks like a duck, it' actually a gene-modified flounder.'

"No more Dr Nice guy"

"However, should the need arise at Cyber-Biogenetics, for a trusty sidekick, we have your resume on file."

Annoying xylophone solicitors.