Quirky Philanthropist Pillows

'I'm walking across the nation to raise awareness of my fabulous legs.'

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

"After spending thirty years creating models of early universe formation, I began to suspect that my work didn't make a shred of difference."

"Thanks again, kid!"

'For donating half my property to the poor, I'll get the 'Unselfish Millionaire of the Year' medal and a supporting receipt for my allowable expenses!'

'I'd like to think they contribute because it's the right thing to do, but I'm not above a short sermon on tax deductibility.'

"I told him he was allowed one phone call. He's making a pledge to Channel 13."

Corporate Head to others at meeting: 'Today is financial Arbor Day. We're going to find some worthwhile charity and plant a money tree.'

'I try to help when I can.'

'Can I choose which brick you name after me?'

"You got another letter from the neighborhood association..."

"Give me your KickStarter URL again. I'll just PayPal my money."

"What's the current return on investment?"

"We steal gold from the rich and sell it to a metals broker. They make a prfit on their buy and sell spread and share a portion of that with us. Then, after the skimming and the rebates, we give to the poor."

"Damn it—I think I just butt-donated to a charity."

"I'd be very happy to give if I could be confident the money was spent well!"

"They want $15,000? We're just not set up to give away such a small amount."

Bill Gates

'It's 'Wolverines Without Borders'. . . They want you to perform classic Fusco material in development countries where people don't have access to the comics.'

Please help.

"How bout ya slip a $20 in there for me too.".." (man talking to another about the church offering plate)

"He's better at begging than I am."

Please Give or Text 'Beggar' on Your Phone (A $10 charge will appear on your next bill. Standard fees and data rates apply.)

"I'd like to help you out, but I've misplaced my wand."

Beggar gives a man change for a shilling

"Lucky guy... You can't get fired!"

'Now accepting credit cards.'

Tuba lessons beggar.

This program was made possible by a grant from someone who, on second thought, would rather not admit it.

"I contributed a lot to charity when I thought I was going to die."

"Why can't you be like everyone else and set up direct debits?"

'I don't care if it is a worthy cause, next time make an appointment.'

'As we all know your dear, deceased Aunt Clara, was a devoted cat lover...'

Collecting for our canine friends...

'I donated a wing to the children's hospital.'