Quirky Pet Channel Subscriber Pillows

'The ball of wool channel? Who the hell signed us up for that?'

'Fetch.'

Biofelineism

"Will you be taking these home or chewing them right here?"

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

'You're doing that just to bug me, aren't you?'

"He ate homework as a puppy but quickly moved onto business journals."

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

"Lap fish..."

"He was a dog person, I was a cat person, the answer was a ferret."

Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).

"What? Don't yuck my yum!"

Dog phrenology

'Okay, I see it now...lame in the third hind leg on the left side!'

Woman keeping a chicken in her room for fresh eggs

"Now I'm sure that, at this point, you're wondering HOW I can remove the anal sacs..."

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

Lady taking her Cochin chickens for a walk.

Upper East Side Dog Park

he used to belong to a cartoonist

Henrietta was never one to conform to society's labels. She preferred to think of herself as an 'off-Rhode lsland Red'...

'He won't eat his lettuce until I've washed it five times. I'm sure his OCD is getting worse!'

"And that's why you go on safari."

"That was the pet store, dear - they want to know if you've noticed any minor flashes of aggression in Joey since starting the steroid bird feed?"

'If you don't notice an improvement after a few weeks, we can try a different cone.'

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'

Priest with the Pet Devil.

"Teach me not to care."

'And this is scraps.'

'You see, I didn't lie, the Internet is full of puppy and kitten videos: We could make a fortune!'

"I did what you asked and got rid of my white mice."

"The first thing we have to do is get you up there."