Quirky Perk Hunter Pillows

'These are job perks.'

"The man who invented autocorrect died from the corona vibrator."

Perks Featured in Vacancy at Toy Company

"It's no good, Bertie—we must either find some other place to meet or break off the affair altogether."

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

'Oh, I don't have a problem, doc. My friend here has a problem.'

"Personally, I of course loved Uncle Clarence, but Mr. Quibbles wants to say a few things."

"Now that we've fallen in love, I have a confession. I'm not a giraffe—I'm fifty-eight weasels in a trenchcoat."

'We can't cut entitlements for federal employees. We're federal employees.'

Horny Nanny Seeks Lonely Goat Herd.

"What sets you apart from other candidates?"

Customer to skin artist: 'Can I just get a tattoo of a body piercing?'

Perks

"You had too many characters in your last tweet."

Where missing laundry socks go!

"Just even it out."

The Hollowdays.

"This place is famous for the way they serve eggs."

"It's a nice story, Mr. Fergus, but why do you always write in the passive voice?" "I suppose because I've been a taxpayer all my life."

'Gone Crazy'

'As you go through life, always remember that money isn't everything...Health benefits and stock options are also very important.'

"Mom!!"

"Do you think Ms. Culbertson was a little miffed?"

'AAAAH! UDDER LEECH!'

'The company had a good quarter, so we've decided to give you that company vehicle you've been wanting.'

'Sculptor'

The first marsupial.

Companies are looking for alternative transportation

Desert Island Water skiing.

Nightmare in the yellow-breasted bunting aviary: Mrs. Havesham is back and this time she means business.

"I find things go around in cycles."

"It's come to my attention that one of you hasn't taken advantage of the company's free gym membership."

"I've been confronting my demons all morning, so we decided to take a break for lunch."

Third-Floor Rapunzel

'Our symphony is trying to attract a younger audience. After your solo, do you mind burning your piano?'