Quirky Performance Appreciator Gifts

'Play Beethoven's Fifth and this ten pence piece is all yours!'

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

"Hope you don't mind—it was his last request."

"Me? I'm taking the dog for a silly walk."

'Arthur loves his new job with the fairground - gets a company car as well.'

'No, but next week, the fireworks start in earnest.'

"Are you binge watching again?"

'Right, I'll see the chap who thinks he's a fly next.'

"Sorry, grandpa, but wiggling the antenna won't restore your cable and Internet."

Standing ovation $5.

"Eyebrows."

Sword swallower's groin extends as if its the sword

'I'm divorcing you...and I want custody of the squids.'

"Could you watch my elephant while I nip out a minute?"

Spring Rituals

Man looking very nervous in an inflatable boat with a porcupine.

Complaints Department

"Some of us negotiate our contracts better than others."

'I really hate operating on circus folks !'

"Once you've stood up for one actor, you're not allowed to sit back down for the next."

Look at the irregular colors, the odd shapes, the worm holes...

Greatest Show on Earth

'Take no notice she often feigns death she was raised by possums.'

Greek Home Theater

"Relax people - only dandruff."

'Cats are creatures of habit.'

"Hey Ned, tell your ironmonger I like his sense of humour"

'Then when I hit a puddle it shrank!'

'Dr. Norwood has become interested in your case. He's a veterinarian.'

The quick drag Dragon. For use outside restaurants and theatres for a quick smoke.