Quirky Option Seeker Pillows

'And here's our burial at sea, where we cut you up and flush you down the toilet, it's simple and fast.'

"Stock options for your thoughts."

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

God putting the finishing touches to the Pug.

'All those in favor of having anchovies on our pizza will signify by saying aye.'

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

All bets are off as Round One begins in the "Dollars versus Donuts" World Championship title fight.

Ball as water-melon.

wattle covers

A watch face with Stonehenge

'It's another corporate lawyer...do we want to buy a soul?'

Where Deviled Eggs come from

"Waiter, this is the worst meal I've ever tasted. And believe me, I've eaten some crap!"

Customer entering bank that is touting number of toasters given away

William Tell's lesser-known first son- Stanislaus Tell.

Auto parts, Lite Puff Pastries, & Health Insurance Exchange.

Santa's Helpers

"This IS my day-to-night outfit"

"Roadkill cookies"

"Pass that."

Regifts of the Magi

International House of Excrement

'Worker or Soldier: Is that all you can suggest? Not much of a choice is there!...'

'Hey! You're not for real, are you man?'

Notorious gangsters, Bunny and Clyde.

'Buy two pounds and I'll throw in the sword.'

"Okay, it if makes you feel better...yes, I have stock in a banana company."

I'm getting old, I spotted a couple of brown hairs among the punk.

"I'd like these invested in an aggressive mutual fund."

'...You're just not built to take selfies.'

"I'm glad I don't have to put gas in it. the downside is that it takes a lot of time to put 3,000 AA batteries in it."

"That's $20 for you if you pluck the tail feathers off my rival over there..."

"What seems to be the problem?"