Quirky Office Humor Gifts

"This call may be monitored for training purposes or just to keep our staff amused."

"Stan, it's come to my attention that you have been creeping people out at work."

'One small point,Perkins-we don't STAMP on the sell-by dates here!'

Zipper Door

A Paper Shredder Prototype.

people standing in a briefcase.

'Hey, Henderson, still got your brains in your butt? Ha! Ha!'

"After he leaves, reverse his desk. He's beginning to grow toward the light."

"Looks like we found the issue."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"This position has become very important to the company."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'The check is in the email attachment.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'Let's not go by the book.'

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

In/Out/These Things Happen.

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'