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News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

"Max! Oh, my God! There's like a billion moving ideas in there!"

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

Man commiting suicide finds the treasure at the bottom of the sea.

"POOPIN'! It's the Butt Signal!"

"I'm after the history section."

Man writing at laptop says: 'It's a UK road movie ??" to give it more scale, I'm making the characters three inches tall.'

"It's a narrative I didn't intend."

'This bottle of whisky will give you 'Dutch courage', it's the best I can do.'

"Welcome to the French Quarter!"

"And Jasper, dear Jasper, with his soulful eyes and great sagging jowl, would be stretched upon the floor, his tail a-thump when he heard his master's footsteps." Penny loved Daphne Du Maurier's 'Rebecca'.

"We understand you wish to report a crime Madam? I'm Inspector La Garde and this is my able assistant Defective Constable Wallis."

"What is it about a tee shirt cannon that says 'foreplay' to you?"

"It's a coming-of-middle-age story."

"Oh well, I'm off the see the orthopedist."

"That's Eleanor. She's a fact checker."

"Your article on the safe storage of combustibles is quite good, but I think you should leave out the part about the wicked witch setting you on fire."

If you think that's good, you should see the Pork Sabre!

“I’ve got an idea for a story: Gus and Ethel live on Long Island, on the North Shore. He works sixteen hours a day writing fiction. Ethel never goes out, never does anything except fix Gus sandwiches and in the end she becomes a nympho-lesbo-killer-whore. Here’s your sandwich”

History Department: 'I used to be a revisionist myself, you know!'

"What do you suppose Ken Burns will have to say about all this in 30 years?"

Reading room

Ilyasah Shabazz

"Wait a minute. Where am I going? I'm a writer."

'Too many cliches? Now hold your horses!'

"I'm not sure if the audience is ready to embrace you in a romantic comedy."

"I've found my voice, Penny. It's deep, wise, and compassionate."

Danae's Prescient Auto-Biography: '...My prescient autobiography is a publisher's dream...no need for fact-checking!'

Gloria's life had been uneventful - until her 40th birthday, when her arms changed into swans.

Planet of the Ants

The Shy Nudist Camp.