Quirky Moments Fan Gifts

Wake me at the end of today's comic strip. And make sure its hilarious.

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

Odd Angles,a monthly strip on coarse angling.

Introducing...Anagraman.

"What the hell took so long?"

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

"If you think you made a stink pulling the fruit, try pulling His finger."

'Check out the old dude.'

Next year, we are NOT going to Costco.

"Sorry, dear... I don't have a pumpkin spiced flat white chai latte. I just have this one..."

"Got any bathtub gin?"

"Leon, honey, you break all the rules of dramaturgy."

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

"I can't come in today, I'm feeling like myself."

Phoenix

"POOPIN'! It's the Butt Signal!"

"What? Don't yuck my yum!"

'Next Please...' (Joe's Sharpening Service).

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

The Pencil and Sharpener

Hot cross buns

"It all started when I read somewhere that happiness is an inside job. Naturally, I assumed some breaking and entering was involved."

An Extraordinary Pointer

'I like the litter box...but the pool has gotta go !'

'Careful, Mugsy, he's got a tool.'

Crash Test Dummy Blues

Mime walking dog passes some invisible dog poop.

Mouse with a cat cake.

"What if the cat stuck in the tree has a gun? Is that an emergency?"

'...And the best he can do is a bunch of gophers?'