Quirky Mishap Observer Gifts

Man blowing glass. His dentures have fallen out and are in the glass bubble.

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

Penguin

Cranial-Metal Plate Surgery Centre

"De plane! De plane! De bird! De bird!...."

"We understand each other and respect each other's privacy." "That cat hates me."

'No, Mr Zarynski...you've got the hospital gown on backwards.'

"Oh, sorry—I think I just butt-summoned you."

"I'd say it's a fungal infection."

OPERATING ROOM, 'Your husband may have a little trouble sleeping for awhile -- we spilled some coffee in him.'

Last night I was in a seafood restaurant and I noticed that all of the sliced lemons were wering shower caps. That's so that when you squeeze the lemon, it doesn't spray your dinner companion. So I was told. My point is that as long as there ar people putting shower caps on lemons, I'm not as crazy as I thought I was.

"Not dead, nonsense! According to the computer you are dead! . . . Please don't waste anymore of out valuable time and leave the operating room!"

'I can't turn it off.'

Bizarre sights.

spellchecker

'Some things are better left unsaid but I never know what they are until after I've said them.'

"The operation was a huge success, Mr. Smith, but we're going to have to open you up again - we appear to have lost a nurse."

Dyslexic Palm Reading

"I'm concerned... She didn't do her usual stretch-bark-rub-her-face-across-the-carpet thing after kibble."

"I'm certain you're fine, but my attorney would like to see you naked."

Pyramid Garden

'Ok, Ms. Feldman, it says on your chart that you were discharged yesterday.'

'Man that REALLY BUGS ME when a robbery call out turns into a WILD-GOOSE chase!' (Police chasing a goose driving a car).

'My car has been tipped over and rammed repeatedly. You don't know anything about this, do you Carl?

Paramedic Mistakes.

Quasimodo Drops a Clanger

See no evil, hear no evil & speak no evil.

'I'm not sure which side of the Bristol Crocodile debate I come down on!'

Lefty Grange, Color commentator.

"The asteroid has what looks like a small rear end on the back of it."

A little green monster

"Now, now sir, you know I can't give you the injection in your 'prosthetic' arm!"

Caution: Stuff and things next 4 miles

CITY HOSPITAL, 'It's all right, officer -- I'm an outpatient.'

Dr. Mooglum made two mistakes. First, he stuck the stethoscope on the patient's forehead, and secondly, he replaced the end with a suction cup.