Quirky Medical Anecdotes Prints

'Next we tried continuous intravenous drip fluid therapy...'

"It will be okay to hop when you go home but don't try to run."

Hypochodriac worrying about his heart.

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

'The doctors ruled out a remarkable recovery. You'll get better, they just don't think it'll be all that remarkable.'

'You need a heart transplant, maybe two.'

"And as if that wasn't bad enough. They've discovered that I'm allergic to bandages!"

"9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer."

'Well, at least we were able to remove that pesky hangnail. So, you have to be pretty stoked about that."

Medical Curiosities

"Code blue! Code blue! His heart's grown three times it's size!"

'Can you believe I was open for six months, and not one single client?!?'

'Yes, I suppose I can learn to live with the pain in my foot. After all, I've been living with a pain in the neck for years!'

You're going to give me a hay fever shot? Shouldn't I be getting an anti hay fever shot?

'Wait a minute! Didn't I see you on 'Funniest Medical Bloopers and Blunders'?'

"The small neat scar was from the surgery. The long jagged scar is where I sneezed."

'You have a parasite, I'm afraid.'

'I couldn't get the cap off the prescription bottle. What did you die of?'

'This is his third operation in two years. I'm putting in a zipper.'

"Relax, un-controllable trembling is natural before major surgery."

"He took an Alka-Seltzer and now he thinks he’s sparkling."

"Quite unexpected......he just slipped into 'Happy Baby' and we never got him back."

"Amazing your knowledge of the virus, if anything, I should pay you."

Doctor using a skeleton's arm to scratch his back.

'We couldn't save him, but we found out what made him tick.'

'I wouldn't be surprised if he blows his brains out.'

'He wants to know where the action is.'

"What do I do? He refuses to sleep on his own."

The results of your brain scan are in

'Don't try getting polite with me!'

Support group for guys with hemorrhoids.

"Your prostate is enlarged."

Mrs. Cohen, I'm sorry to tell you you have a tumor. It's in your throat. Let me show you a diagram on the computer. Click. Sorry, I've somehow mixed in my vacation photos. Where was I? @#$% HMO!

'Apparently the owner of the donor hand was a renowed ladies man.'

'I'm afraid your conditions shows no improvement over last time, Mr. Ferguson -- you must still be doing enjoyable things.'