Quirky Journal Keeper Gifts

Dear diary, Today I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die. Well, not really. I just said that to get your attention. But I did knock a spider into the bathtub just to watch him drown.

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

Great British Eccentrics.

Bookstore, the Politically Incorrect Guide to You.

Letter Collecting Nerd

'Oddly enough you're the third person to buy that today!'

"It's a great story, funny and entertaining - and better still it's not won a single prize for literature."

Man In The Stocks Used As A Clock

Dummies for Dummies.

Bird reading '1001 pickup lines' - 'I'm getting ready for mating season.'

Dear Dairy

"I'm taking detailed notes of everything, so I can tell my kids what things were really like when I was their age."

'Good book?'

"I'm just making a few behavioral notes in my journal, then I'll chase him."

1,000 places to see after you die by Shirley Maclaine.

Ransom Library. Oh, that's just Henry … He's a history buff. Wild West.

'That's right...his appendix...and it's pure dynamite! Don't you see? It'll be the ultimate insider celebrity memoir!'

"So, you're telling me that you can't return, 'How to be a secret agent' because the final chapter instructed you to eat it after reading?"

Half-A**ed Publishing Presents...

"Hypochondriac's handbook. A little passion project I'm working on;, or, rather, I would be working on."

Dog Bookends

"Today we will focus on how the author makes the same exact complaints about here life, from her sixth birthday and on."

Rare Books / Exceedingly Rare Books / Never Published Books

Gigolo Diary

"Yuck! Som'one left their nose in this book!"

"You know, it's a picture book. Needless to say, it doesn't have a lot of narrative scope."

"Well, he's a squirrel, so yes, he's a hoarder, but that does not help come Winter: he hoards books, not nuts!"

Louse and garden...

"We've read your crime-thriller novel and have decided to publish it. As a coloring book."

The world on lockdown

Letter from Camp* (*with Footnotes)

Older cousin press

Man reading 'Amnesia volume 1' while having a bookshelf full of 'Amnesia Volume 1'

Car's bumper sticker reads: 'My other car is a bookmobile.'

"I'll take this Feng Shui for Cats. And spare me the eye-rolls, please."