Quirky Job Seekers T-Shirts

"Actually, the job calls for someone who is convex."

Candidates for Water Divining

'Looks like the sexton position is still vacant.'

'My resume,...in rap form!'

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

'We're looking for someone to liven up our Monday morning job meetings. Can you handle it Chuckles?'

'Says here you can tear phonebooks in half? Well, security could use a man like you in our shredding department!'

"Well, you certainly seem to have a lot to offer this company, and, of course, the truffles are a hell of a plus."

'I let my merit badges do the talking.'

Blend Schools

"Get me a young fella-me-lad with a jib I like the cut of."

'Smith, where exactly did you get your experience in 'Hedge Fund Management'?'

"What sets you apart from other candidates?"

Urine Catcher

"Any other skills?"

"And the hiring committee was very impressed with your no nonsense attitude during the interview."

"A Ph.D. in particle physics, experience in aerospace and rocketry...of course I can juggle."

"Well, what a coincidence, Jeff's in vermin control too!"

"I work well independently. I usually correct all the problems I create."

"An MBA, a PhD, AND good at catching mice? Wow!"

'Man, I gotta find a new gig!'

Dexter Flynn, Taxidermy Attorney.

'I can assure you Mr. Rumplestilkskin, weaving straw into gold is a skill we can certainly use...'

Man in the stocks on his typewriter.

'I see Charlie's moonlighting again.'

Kid sells Acai Berry Juice at stand free trial.

Latrinologist

Baggage Claim: Anyone Who Knows How To Hot-Wire A Car.

"I called you back for a second interview to show you the origami I make with your résumé."

"Mum, can I work in a morgue"

"Any other strengths?"

'Special skills? Well, I've been told I make a mean martini!'

'I'd prefer to work from home. I'm under house arrest.'

Todd realises his ability to levitate tea bag string will never translate into hard cash.

"Everyone here has a PH.D. in astrophysics. We need someone who can yodel."