Quirky Job Seeker T-Shirts

Urine Catcher

"Well, you certainly seem to have a lot to offer this company, and, of course, the truffles are a hell of a plus."

'I can assure you Mr. Rumplestilkskin, weaving straw into gold is a skill we can certainly use...'

'I'd prefer to work from home. I'm under house arrest.'

'Here's an opportunity: Ride a donkey into Mexico, become a citizen, and then sneek back across the border and get a job.'

"I work well independently. I usually correct all the problems I create."

'We come as a pair - we're applying for headship and assistant post.'

Chster K. Crimpknuckle, the undisputed King of stepladder salesmen.

"I couldn't help but notice that all of your references are incarcerated."

"An MBA, a PhD, AND good at catching mice? Wow!"

'Says here you can tear phonebooks in half? Well, security could use a man like you in our shredding department!'

'Man, I gotta find a new gig!'

Will Work For Health Food

"Mum, can I work in a morgue"

"And the hiring committee was very impressed with your no nonsense attitude during the interview."

'This accountant will do.'

Man in the stocks on his typewriter.

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

I think you'll appreciate my resume. It's printed on a fridge magnet.

'We're looking for someone to liven up our Monday morning job meetings. Can you handle it Chuckles?'

"We were looking for somebody with experience in mumbo-jumbo but your resume is mainly about gobbledegook."

"Actually, the job calls for someone who is convex."

'I let my merit badges do the talking.'

"What sets you apart from other candidates?"

'We like to find just the right slot for our people.'

'Smith, where exactly did you get your experience in 'Hedge Fund Management'?'

'...we are looking for someone with great interpersonal communication skills.'

"We do price loyalty, but we were also rather hoping for a candidate who could read right and walk on two legs."

"A Ph.D. in particle physics, experience in aerospace and rocketry...of course I can juggle."

"Any other skills?"

'My resume,...in rap form!'

True, I've seen plenty of padded resumes, but very few bejeweled resumes.

'Ambitious? You sit there admitting you're a troublemaker!'

'So far, so good -- I got a second interview!'

Dexter Flynn, Taxidermy Attorney.