Quirky Job Lovers T-Shirts

'That would be your perfect job...paid to do nothing!'

'Says here you can tear phonebooks in half? Well, security could use a man like you in our shredding department!'

"Well, you certainly seem to have a lot to offer this company, and, of course, the truffles are a hell of a plus."

"Actually, the job calls for someone who is convex."

At Lego corporate headquarters.

"What sets you apart from other candidates?"

Urine Catcher

'My resume,...in rap form!'

"And the hiring committee was very impressed with your no nonsense attitude during the interview."

Bertha's: A bank that's more than a bank. It's also an insurance broker and a beauty parlor.

"I work well independently. I usually correct all the problems I create."

Dexter Flynn, Taxidermy Attorney.

'Man, I gotta find a new gig!'

"An MBA, a PhD, AND good at catching mice? Wow!"

Bovine Proctology Graduation

Exciting suggestion in 'suggestion box'.

'I can assure you Mr. Rumplestilkskin, weaving straw into gold is a skill we can certainly use...'

Toilet Tissue Typist.

'I think I've finally found my own niche.'

"There are mysteries up here on the 13th floor. Like who keeps locking the exit door? Why is that clock always 12 minutes fast? And who actually eats the liverwurst sandwiches from that machine?"

'I see Charlie's moonlighting again.'

'Arthur loves his new job with the fairground - gets a company car as well.'

Man in the stocks on his typewriter.

"Mum, can I work in a morgue"

"I've decided to let you work from home, as long as you move in here and pay me rent."

"This job involves travel? Let me call my parole officer and OK it with him."

'Looks like the sexton position is still vacant.'

PERSONNEL, 'This is terribly embarrassing -- I've been married so many times, I've forgotten my maiden name.'

Latrinologist

'I'd prefer to work from home. I'm under house arrest.'

"He's currently unavailable. Would you care to wait?"

'This accountant will do.'

A sign you're not applying at a fortune 500 company...

'Candor is a plus.'

Now 7 days since anybody ate anybody. Let's keep it going!