Quirky Inmate T-Shirts

"It's a sort of Birdman of Alcatraz situation, except that Martin here isn't a bird."

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

Prisoner still life painting.

Exhibition for Prisoners

"How'd you know I was in for cyber crime?"

'See, I told you it was a good idea to talk to the plants.'

'I'm done doing inside jobs on the outside. I make more on the inside as an outsider artist.'

Conrad Black will be unable to do his investment club's tax returns this year.

'I always assumed you were a cat person!'

"Murder one. How about you?" "I tried to rob an arts and crafts store with a hot glue gun."

Prison baseball game features Bankers vs. Wall Street.

"They want to spend the weekend at Daddy's" (Colour)

'She kept asking me to say what was on my mind so I did. She told her analyst and then the FBI.'

'Which section, guilty, innocent, or framed?'

'I'm in here for something I didn't do alright-I didn't pay my Council Tax!'

'Ms. Daly, have there been any important e-mails or voice-mails during my incarceration?'

STRIP Hambone: Prisoner visited by a computer

"Any word on my appeal?"

Prisoner counting off the days on his computer.

'It's amazing the change in his attitude since he took up knitting.'

'I'm being let go. Twenty years I give this place, and that's the thanks I get.'

'Juries have never liked me.'

'...And we'll soon have you out of those nasty black clod-hoppers and into some nice comfy slippers.'

Uli Hoeness

Prison windows.

Term Life Insurance

'Does this orange jumpsuit make my butt look big?'

Dating the Warden

'Of course you can't remember what you had for breakfast -- we didn't HAVE any breakfast.'