Quirky Inmate Mugs

"It's a sort of Birdman of Alcatraz situation, except that Martin here isn't a bird."

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

Prisoner still life painting.

Exhibition for Prisoners

"This is where you'll be sleeping."

'I'm done doing inside jobs on the outside. I make more on the inside as an outsider artist.'

"How'd you know I was in for cyber crime?"

'See, I told you it was a good idea to talk to the plants.'

'I always assumed you were a cat person!'

Conrad Black will be unable to do his investment club's tax returns this year.

"Murder one. How about you?" "I tried to rob an arts and crafts store with a hot glue gun."

Prison baseball game features Bankers vs. Wall Street.

'Which section, guilty, innocent, or framed?'

"They want to spend the weekend at Daddy's" (Colour)

'She kept asking me to say what was on my mind so I did. She told her analyst and then the FBI.'

Bullfighter and Bull Cellmates

'I'm in here for something I didn't do alright-I didn't pay my Council Tax!'

'Ms. Daly, have there been any important e-mails or voice-mails during my incarceration?'

'Jackie Chan caught you? Now, that's a coincidence - Charlie Chan caught me!'

'It's amazing the change in his attitude since he took up knitting.'

STRIP Hambone: Prisoner visited by a computer

"Any word on my appeal?"

Prisoner counting off the days on his computer.

'Hey! Knock it off, will ya?'

'I'm being let go. Twenty years I give this place, and that's the thanks I get.'

'Juries have never liked me.'

'Does this orange jumpsuit make my butt look big?'

Term Life Insurance

'...And we'll soon have you out of those nasty black clod-hoppers and into some nice comfy slippers.'

Prison coffee table books.

Uli Hoeness

Prison windows.

You never take me anywhere.

I started to scratch off the days, but then I went a little crazy.

'Of course you can't remember what you had for breakfast -- we didn't HAVE any breakfast.'