Quirky Idea Collector T-Shirts

Paranoia clinic: 'Conspiracy theories: $1.00 per dozen'.

"Mr. Saltee"

"Good luck at the patent office"

'How do you like this one, waterproof teabags?'

"As soon as this baby fires up, no more toothache!"

"'Footcube', eh? It's a game-changer, alright."

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Larry's used art

Seagiraffes

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

Raincloud Umbrella

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

Duck Hunt

Thinks he's too cool for school.

Early cyborg.

Best before 65 million BC.

Bar snacks served in bird-feeders.

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

A man walks his dog wearing a cone.

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

"Oh, I'm thrilled with my new dog! He's sort of a hunter/retriever/plumber/electrician."

Funky Facts: Monkeys.

Ice shelfie.

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

'Anorak anoraks'.

A trevor of trainspotters

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

Dog selling toilet water on front lawn

"Things are looking up!"