Quirky Home Keepers Pillows

Brushing Under Man's Wig

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

' ... and this is the half bath.'

'It started out as just a little knot on the floor,'

"Sold For sale Ellie Kopp 1-800-238-7463 Yaffle Realty Stop renting. Buy your boot from a boot."

Egg Buggy

Beware of the Lawn

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

"This will look great on our bedroom wall."

'We live in a designer trainer.'

'No, we did not order a corner unit.'

'This place is rather unusually located. Do you folks like sunsets?'

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

"Well, as a matter of fact, no, you didn't tell us you kept exotic pets when you sold us the house!"

Coming Soon: Haunted Homes on 60-foot lots.

'Do we want this one parallel with the floor or the ceiling?'

Carpet salesman, "There's a bit of tyre damage, but not so anyone would notice."

"Occasionally he lobs a brick at the cat."

"My home insurance has dropped since I had it installed."

'Oh, it's perfect, George! And it has termites, too!'

"When you said you lived in a fishbowl, I just assumed you never got out."

"The one's an en suite and the other's a walk-in wardrobe."

"Ya know, it wouldn’t kill you to bark."

"Ok, you wash, you dry...."

'It's no spelling mistake-the dining room is in the basement.'

'No spring cleaning for me: I get a cleaner to come over in winter while we're asleep...'

"Interesting story behind this one..."

"How about supper in the tub tonight, Hon?"

"I bought a new summer condo."

Junk Mail Shredder.

'Ah, you must be the cleaner. I'm the dirtier.'

"The seller is highly unmotivated."