Quirky Gift Admirer T-Shirts

It's the thought that counts: Totally useless gifts.

'Remove your shoes and socks. We ran out of laughing gas.'

'I know we asked for a room with running water,but...'

'What's that slice of lemon doing in there?'

He'll never melt. I made him from fast food milkshakes.

Woman wearing testicles as earrings after husbands vasectomy.

'You're all about the polar bears until one shows up at the door.'

Lactose Intolerant

When dogs give gifts

Welcome centre

Invisible Dog

Five Gold Rings

"You're right...the square ball and round hole does make it harder."

'I'm wearing Badger S*** for dogs...Because I'm worth it!'

"The tests confirmed my suspicions, Mr. White. In the past few months, you've developed a small but apparently harmless cult following."

Old lady posts adverts for fur gloves over poster of a lost cat,

"You paid to have a grain of sand named after me? You're such an idiot."

optician

Missing persons - "So he was due back yesterday after going out for a paper twelve months ago."

'First, let me apologize for suggesting you throw horseshoes as therapy.'

"That's not a superpower."

Victimless crime support.

"I don't think the new guy is working out."

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

"All natural snow cones for sale."

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

God putting the finishing touches to the Pug.

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

All bets are off as Round One begins in the "Dollars versus Donuts" World Championship title fight.

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop