Quirky Gavel Collector Pillows

'...Plus six months for breaking my little hammer!'

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

Larry's used art

Seagiraffes

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

Raincloud Umbrella

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

Duck Hunt

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

Thinks he's too cool for school.

Early cyborg.

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

Best before 65 million BC.

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

A man walks his dog wearing a cone.

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

Ice shelfie.

"Oh, I'm thrilled with my new dog! He's sort of a hunter/retriever/plumber/electrician."

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

'Anorak anoraks'.

A trevor of trainspotters

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

Dog selling toilet water on front lawn

'Don't you think it's just a little weird to have a cemetery for houseplants?!'

It's great for pulling the birds!

"I'll give you $5 for that shirt."

"Is this the same gold bar I gave you last year?"

"Things are looking up!"

Inflating Boobs.