Collecting Gavels Pillows

'What really hurt was when I had to divest myself of my holdings in the gavel company.'

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"I shop, therefore I am."

Bottle Bank: For the Colour Blind.

(Visual gag) Wellard's annual BIG HANDBAG SALE!! A woman is dragging a huge bag out from a bag shop

"Tracey, this is Gene. He also read the Nancy Reagan book in unbound galleys."

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

"Is this the same gold bar I gave you last year?"

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

Justice 4 Ron

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

"I really wanted to get you off but I didn't want to make a mockery of Justice."

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

Utility Chic.

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

'After counsel said, 'You did it', the defendant said, 'Did not', followed by a, 'Did too'. . .'

"If the 'Disorderly Conduct' charge is dropped, your Honor, my client will plead guilty to the lesser charge of 'Zany Antics'."

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

"May I borrow your glasses so I can find my glasses?"

'You are charged with contempt of CNN....'

Pay Cut for QCs: 'I put it to you that this strikes at the very foundations of justice!'

'I wonder how my husband is managing at the construction site with my gavel.'

'Our new product has increased growth in our legal department.'

'Well you're an eye doctor aren't you'

Late library book. Judge says, 'I don't think you're taking this seriously'.

'If you don't stay seated, I'll have to use my pop-up blocker.'

Judge knocking at 'audits' so that 'CPA's' lose their money

"Overruled!"

Must you be so judgmental?