Quirky Gadgets Fan Pillows

I'll trade you my phone for a latte. Pardon? You'll love it. It's vintage. A collector's item. It's from 1998. I bought it from a really old man in a magic shop last year. No deal. Come on! It's not like the shop vanished as soon as I left it. And it's not like I keep getting mysterious late-night calls on it from people in 1998 who keep telling me jokes I've already heard a million times. And it's not like the magic shop man told me I can only get rid of the phone by selling it or trading it. R

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

"We're looking for something for our panic room."

The Age of Reptiles. . .

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

Oh yeh? Well at least he doesn't get fleas.

Dr. Frankenstein creates his newest monster, Frankenmime.

Open House of Horrors

'Yes, it's just a little volume.'

"Sometimes, Cheryl, I wonder why you only invite me along to cocktail parties."

"Trust me. Don't do it."

Would you make up your mind? I can't keep letting you in and out all day.

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

Wind turbine and leaf blower.

I always forget - Are we supposed to tip?

"Teenagers! Everyone try to look cool!"

Never give a cow a giant straw.

'You should work for Conglomo. You're allowed the vegetable of your choice.'

'I mean, what sort of thief only takes a dog bowl?'

Forgot your locker combination? Let Sammy the weasel pick it open for you!

'He's very particular about how far we walk.'

Good stripper cop / Bad stripper cop

"We've run all the technical stuff and found the cause of the funny sound coming from your computer."

Shaman reads magazine entitled 'Witch Doctor'.

Old-fashioned computer

Millionaire trapped in the body of a bum. Please help correct the situation. ?

"We're out of flowers."

"Other than going ahead and back an hour at daylight savings, professor, can your time machine travel to any other period in time?"

"He's at that awkward age."

'We only have one brand of beer, but we've got six kinds of flavor straws.'

'I don't know whether we should call the world pres or keep quiet?'

Toast kidnapper.

Crossword bathroom tiles.

Cat gets caught eating the cuckoo from a cuckoo clock.

101 uses of a dead cat: toilet brush