Quirky Food Researcher T-Shirts

Coonhound Inc. Petfoods Research & Development

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

Acme Foods. Research and Development. Then it's an "no" on the Mexican Jumping Bean Dip?

Tzatzikicicle

"Who ordered the moose en croute?"

'Can I have a Banana-Split' without the ice-cream?'

Cheese Secret

"Is it me, or would a dung beetle taste really good right now?"

'I'll have one regular cheese-burger from column 'A', and one negative-calories cheese-burger from column 'B'.'

Studying String Cheese Theory

'You can't call it a miracle drug just because you added miracle whip!'

Ice Cream Flavors

Early bird special - Grilled Pterodactyl.

Arabic Thief Salad - lashings of whipped cream...

Okay... which one of you ordered the holy mackerel?

"Be right with you - just need to call for a tow truck and change today's 'Catch of the Day' to venison."

How is your soup, sir? Speaking for myself, it looks pretty good. I can't speak for the fly, of course.

De ja vu soup - 'It was yesterday's 'soup of the day'.'

At the Periodic Picnic Table of the Elements

Chernobyl Chow

Einstein tests his pasta-antipasto theory.

Salvador Deli

What can I get you? Coffee? Tea? Sandwich? The mackerel mocha sounds lovely. What's in it? The usual. Chocolate. Soy milk. Mackerel. Yes, but is the mackerel farm-raised or from the sea? Ocean. Atlantic? Pacific? Indian? Arctic? Antarctic? I'm not sure. Oh. Ok ... well what's the mackerel's mercury content? Negligible, I'm sure. Ok. Was it exposed to any chlorine? Or copper sulphate? Or malathion? Was it treated with kindness? Was it read stories and sung to before bedtime? Yes. Never mind, it s

Eye of Newt Helper

If the fruit isn't genetically modified, explain the fruit fly.

"Hey, do we have strawberries crushed in cream cheese?"

Spy microchips in Chinese instant noodles

"So I said to myself...who am I to deny this calling?"

'Killing two birds with one stone...bacon coffee.'

"Parrot Fish? Well THAT is going to repeat on me later..."

"We're very strict. No soy milk, no veggie burgers, no margarine... nothing that even looks like an animal product."

"The Corned Beef Cappuccino needs work."

"Who remembers when food wasn't genetically modified?"

'What kind of idiot orders a triple anchovy pizza with no cheese?'