Quirky Focus Appreciator Pillows

"Eyebrows."

Rent a Room With Hot Water

-"What has this got to do with communication?" -"It's my invention...the hand smiley."

"Hope you don't mind—it was his last request."

The songwriter who wrote a bridge about his bridge.

'Yes, Super-Supreme pizza... Delivered please...'

"Me? I'm taking the dog for a silly walk."

At home with the leeches: 'No, you can't have a Quorn tartlet - just drink your blood and be quiet!'

Viking with bike handlebars on helmet.

I suppose this probably counts as an adverse event.

"...so you then developed an addiction to buying toilet rolls. Wasn't that rather expensive?"

"One large with cheese, pepperoni and grass clippings."

'Right, I'll see the chap who thinks he's a fly next.'

"That tie, Merrick. It's not your friend."

"Are you binge watching again?"

'No, but next week, the fireworks start in earnest.'

'These are humans. Normally they are quite harmless, but if you touch their food or make fun of their beliefs they can become VERY aggressive.'

Spring Rituals

'The last thing I knew he was on a plane to an obedience school in Omaha!'

"An old man uses a stick grabber to pick up a cigarette."

"Could you watch my elephant while I nip out a minute?"

Man says: 'It's got quite a nose ... I'm getting notes of nutmeg, a whiff of autumn harvest and rain-sodden undergrowth, and with a tart, elderberry finish. Not bad for a urine sample, eh Doc?'

"And look - rooftop cup holders."

Do you have to smack your tongue when you chew? Says the guy who spits his fingernails everywhere. Peccadilloes.

This episode would be known as 'The sink of doom!'

"I have heated your beer in the microwave because you told me you like hot drinks!"

Complaints Department

"Sometimes I pretend to be normal, then when I get bored I revert to being me."

The Traditional Board Game Company.

"It's alright,lady-cleaning 'em yesterday qualifies you for a freebie today!"

"It's these new glasses dear! I thought it was you!"

"Some of us negotiate our contracts better than others."

'The Dockland Spirits came with the Jacuzzi.'

"Edward attracts light."

The latest look - models with surveillance cameras.