Quirky Fact Fan T-Shirts

"Just because you've read that elephants can hear better with one foot off the ground. . . "

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

Phoenix

Antler Buzzers.

The Soundness of Newton's Laws

The next damn Batman.

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Top Ten Hit

Galileo's Attempt to discover is heavier dog falls faster than lighter dog.

Man playing chess from his parked car.

Just what is it that amoebas really want.

'I'm afraid our worst suspicions have been confirmed - we found slug, snail and a trace amount of puppydog tail.'

Gloria's life had been uneventful - until her 40th birthday, when her arms changed into swans.

"It's the super - he says a lot of short American fiction has been clogging the pipes in the basement."

She was always an introvert.

'Bloomin rare breeds.'

Magic mushroom

OCCASIONALLY HOMO ERECTUS, THE FIRST SPECIES TO USE TOOLS AND WEAPONS, CROSSED PATHS WITH HOMO SPIFICUS, THE FIRST SPECIES TO WEAR SPATS AND DRINK COCKTAILS>

'I'm afarid your son has all the classic elements of geekism,minus the technical expertise.'

"Oh, now you tell me!"

"Hello, research and development here. There seems to be a glitch in our gen modifier."

I'm terrified of clown fish.

"What did it say on the seed packet?"

"I can't help being annoying. I'm a Pain-In-The Saurus."

"Do these jeans make my butt sound big?"

Hillbilly.

"These humans are WEIRD! - They pick up our poop; carefully tie it up into little bags and then throw it into the nearest bush. . . !"

'...he's teaching me air guitar.'

'The doctor said you should cut down on the 'love bites'...'

Atomic Bear: Part 3

Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Send your questions to asksadie@rudypark.com. Dear Ask Sadie, I have encountered a "close-talker" at work who always stands about five or six inches from my face while talking to me. Unfortunately, this close-talker is my boss. How can I get her to stop doing this without shooting my career in the foot? - Charlotte in Austin. Excellent question. It takes me back. The year was 1938. I spent months tracking down the elusive grizzly bear of the Ozark

Meerkows.

"What do you mean, you can't walk without your head going back and forth like that?! Are you serious?"

"Never mind what an amoeba eats - how does an amoeba eat.?"

'Did you pack your own luggage?'

Fire Brain