Quirky Executive Fan Pillows

"I'm sorry, but he's having his teeth filed to needle-sharp points. Can I take a message?"

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

"Where we lack in productivity is made up by extremely low employee turnover."

Water company bonus.

Sheep In Curlers

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

Cat Boss

Deer Cross Dressing.

'Focus! Focus! You've just gotta' forget about their home ground advantage.

"He's at that awkward age."

'I think they make my feet look too small.'

Beachy Hair

'Let's face it, we're not meant to wear hats...'

'Shred that last mental note I gave you.'

Tapped Tree

Sugar Machine

"Fruit of the Loon"

Need to celebrate? we will pour ice water on you, only $27.50!

"Damn it, Bershire, I've told you to never call me when I'm in my executive ball pit!"

Three ducks: two have normal bills, third one has bill turned around like bill of cap.

'Welcome aboard, Gridley ? this will be your desk.'

'Get rid of those shoes, or I will never jog with you again.'

"I don’t know if this is just the cashews talking, but I find you absolutely delightful."

Time For This Odd House

"Yes, I'm sure it'll work. They hate turkeys with bad taste."

"Absolutely not. I don't give my provenance over the phone."

'That's strange, I never forget things.'

'Sure I can chat - just let me pull over to the shoulder.'

'He's notorious for pushing the envelope.'

'As you may know, I'll retire in a few weeks but you better not think that I'm a lame duck now!'

'Quite frankly,Jefferson, we like our people to wobble a little'

'How soon can you start?'

Asian Man shows chiropodist curled up toes, due to wearing curled up shoes.

Armstrong, I'm not qualified to give you dating advice. When it comes to that stuff, I'm the WORST. Why not ask Randy? Because Randy's advice is as good as it gets. There's nothing to improve on, so it's a bad investment. But if someone gives me glaringly bad advice, I can easily spot the errors, correct them, and compile it all into a best-selling advice book. Dating tip #1: Dating is not an investment. Beautiful. Keep 'em coming.

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