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"Where we lack in productivity is made up by extremely low employee turnover."

'Quite frankly,Jefferson, we like our people to wobble a little'

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

'Ms. Moffit, please inform the staff that I have morphed and send in that plump young marketing trainee.'

"You may ask your questions only when I call your name. Don't waste my time with chit-chat. I don't have all day. Got that?"

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"Here's the feasibility study you wanted, Chief."

'Hello. Law offices of Anderson, Avery, Baer, Barton, Baston, Caggly, Cooper ... drat, who comes after Cooper?'

'Shred that last mental note I gave you.'

"I'm sorry, but he's having his teeth filed to needle-sharp points. Can I take a message?"

Exciting suggestion in 'suggestion box'.

A Protractor.

'It says we should start flying south by southwest in a 'V' formation at 7:57 Wednesday morning.'

"Maxwell, you idiot! You mailed copies of your last letter to our entire contact list."

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The boss is world famous for his profound analysis of human nature, but to work here all you need to know one grunt is yes and two is no.

'Welcome aboard, Gridley ? this will be your desk.'

"I'm sorry - he's just left the office..."

'How soon can you start?'

Snow Shaker.

"Higher wages, lower urinals."

"Someone's misfiled Harrington."

'You can't fire me cause I'm incompetent. That's discrimination against idiots!'

Captain Pointy No.54 - Bad head puncture

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Scarecrow Goalie

Rabbit using the condom machine.

'This word processing program is very user friendly. All the O's contain a happy face.'

Japan's famous 'Bullet' train about to leave the station.

'Steel Wool' company

"Do you realise that you've brought our feather duster for a walk?"

'Yes, this is my home office. Why do you ask, honey?'

"The boss truly has an open door policy."

Car navigation

Loo Building